I love many of the old Puritan Prayers and Devotions…they are always anonymous and heartfelt…

  The Valley of Vision

  Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

  Let me learn by paradox
  that the way down is the way up,
  that to be low is to be high,
  that the broken heart is the healed heart,
  that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
  that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
  that to have nothing is to possess all,
  that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
  that to give is to receive,
  that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
And the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
  Let me find thy light in my darkness,
  thy life in my death,
  thy joy in my sorrow,
  thy grace in my sin,
  thy riches in my poverty
  thy glory in my valley.

We hope that the new nausea medication will give some relief to Irene’s constant distress.  After an early morning dialysis treatment she persevered through an uncomfortable day.  She has such an amazing attitude and yesterday received another gracious comment at the doctor’s office regarding her “signature” smile.  I told her this morning that I think she sleeps with a smile on her face!!!

Irene is also looking forward to having her sisters Carmen and Jane visit over the weekend.

Our prayer is for vision of a tomorrow without the discomfort of today…that His Glory will manifest itself while Irene is still in the “nausea” valley.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Our prayers are for God’s best for your family.  It has been too many years since we have seen you, but we understand those things that God is walking you through.  Marsha has been on the liver transplant list for several years (at UCSF also).  Our hearts are with you and your family, knowing your ultimate trust in God and yet dealing with the “day to day” stuff that happens with all the medical stuff.  You will continue to be in our prayers.

Love, John and Marsha Moseley

True or False:

Most people have very strong opinions and want their own way.

My answer would be TRUE .... in large part, because, in my humble opinion, most of us have a personal agenda we’re pursuing with goals we’re trying to attain.  Not that fitting goals and appropriate ambition are necessarily bad.  Rather, God wants us on a “holy ambition” for Him.

And, in many ways, God’s ways are in direct conflict with ours ....

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Is 55:8-9

God longs for us to willingly relinquish our goals and objectives to His agenda and pursue Him with reckless abandon.  Perhaps we’re hesitant to do so because we want to be in control; that perhaps in some way we believe that we know better or that we want to implement our means and our ends .... or we’re somehow convinced that relinquishing control will become a form of bondage. 

But in metaphoric language, God longs for us to “hang the white flag” in unqualified surrender to Him ....

If yesterday was a good day for Irene, today was a “not so good” day.  She was plagued with significant lethargy and icky nausea.  Irene saw Dr. Kumar late this afternoon and he prescribed yet another powerful nausea medication.  Please pray for her tummy relief.  Dr. Kumar intends to monitor Irene’s kidney function for the next 60 days to ascertain whether or not she is a candidate for long term dialysis.  If that is the case, she will have another permanent access port placed in her arm.  The existing port in her chest, called a Tesio, will be removed.

On this journey Irene and I are both re-discovering the true definition of SURRENDER at unfathomable depths.  We’re learning that personal opinions are of little importance .... only the perspective that belongs to our Lord is really material .... and we’re realizing that surrendering to Him doesn’t produce bondage but rather FREEDOM .... the capacity to become all that God intends for us by His power and grace .... even when facing Primary Amyloidosis.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé

Dave

As we journey along in this world facing a terminal disease, some may imagine that we have misplaced hope or are naïve to the harsh realities of this world.  Or, perhaps we’re setting ourselves up for a significant disappointment, or, perhaps even worse, we’re deluded in our thinking as we walk in faith.  After all, isn’t too much faith…just too much?

If that is the case we’re in good company.  Muse on words of Paul:

“If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.”
1 Corinthians 15:19-20

“We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ!”
1 Corinthians 4:10

If our only hope is God’s Word and faith in Christ, it’s imperative that we appropriate the following verse as it relates to its POWER:

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12

Note the audacious claim that the Word of God “.... penetrates even to dividing…joints and marrow ....”

Amyloid is an abnormal protein antibody produced in the bone marrow.  This verse is particularly striking as we realize that God’s Word has the power and authority to “penetrate even to dividing .... joints and marrow”.

This is why we pray God’s Word of healing over Irene.

This is why we anoint Irene with oil and lay hands on her.

This is why.

Irene had a good day.  Sue Martinez picked Irene up from dialysis treatment and they enjoyed breakfast and a trip to Target together.  I later “paid the price” when Irene and I returned this evening to purchase a new garden bench that she had spotted earlier in the day!!

It’s amazing how much the Word of God speaks about our body and body parts:

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,
for she was taken out of man.”

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:22-24

Our trust and confidence is in the One that created us and knows us from the womb.  He is acutely aware of Irene’s dilemma and his loving Presence is undeniable.  If we’re going to be foolish about the realities we face in this world, we will choose to be “fools for Christ” as our only true hope for today and eternity.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

For some time we have embraced the notion that how we answer three specific questions determine to a great extent the earthly path that our lives will take ....

Here they are:

• What are you going to do? (vocation)
• Where are you going to live? (geography)
• Who are you going to marry? (soul mate)

Answering those questions inaugurate a rhythm and momentum which in turn steers a powerful bearing and chisel our lives forever. 

In the spiritual sense, the same is true for the decision we make surrounding the person of Jesus.  We cannot ignore Him nor can we remain neutral to His claims.  We must decide either for or against him.  That “ultimate” decision establishes our eternal destination. 

Jesus says the following:

“He who is not with me is against me .... “
Matthew 12:30

” .... I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6

Irene was ambitious and out of the house early this morning going to Trader Joe’s and Safeway before returning home after the nausea became too much to bear.  This morning Irene was wearing a coat, gloves and a scarf which is pretty typical because she’s always cold .... it became so warm today (high of about 90 degrees with no air conditioning) that she was later shedding clothes .... what a reversal .... !!

Shirley Churchill graciously came by the house this afternoon and again worked with Irene on physiology techniques designed to awaken the kidneys.  We hope and pray to that end.

Certainly how we answer certain questions influence our earthly path and destination.  We can also be certain of Jesus’ words:

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.”
John 14:2

We’re glad to know that deciding in Jesus’ favor guarantees an eternal destination that He is personally preparing for us ....

Caminando con Fé
Dave

As I was driving in to work this morning, with tired eyes I gazed up into the morning sky. I suddenly saw an array of purples and oranges hovering over the sunrise. It looked like a sherbet sunset. My immediate reaction was, “Oh! How beautiful!” But then I remembered that the reason for this assortment of colors stemmed from massive fires throughout Southern California that are burning homes, vegetation, and everything else in their way. I suddenly felt bad for thinking that the sky looked beautiful. But then I thought, “Isn’t that just like God to still make something beautiful out of a horrible situation?” I thought of Isaiah 61:3 that states that God will “provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” God literally was creating beauty out of ashes. They were displaying the splendor of God.
  There is an older song sung by Crystal Lewis called “Beauty for Ashes.” These are the lyrics:

“He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy o’er your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When what you’ve done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound I’ve been set free
I’ve been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair”

I think of this often when I think of all that my mom has been through. I often think that one day God IS going to bring beauty for ashes. As suffering hangs “heavy o’er [her] head,” I also pray that he will bring “wholeness and healing” so that we can see his goodness “in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

Though sometimes all we can see, taste, and smell is the ash and smoke, God has beauty for ashes waiting when the smoke clears and the flames die away. For though, when the fire comes, everything is destroyed, we have faith and believe that he will beautifully rebuild us in Him.

I’m not one for sitting around, but I do have a recurring quiet time, usually at “o’dark thirty” when I read The Word, pray and prioritize my day.  It seems that when I’m sitting quietly God can speak more clearly .... and I listen more attentively!!!  I then venture into the world putting “legs to my prayers”!!

I recently perused the word “sitting” throughout scripture and there seems to be a correlation between sitting and experiencing God’s activity in our midst.  Here is one brief example:

The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by.”
Genesis 18:1-3

Sitting in dialysis treatment three days a week for three hour settings can be a long time in one position.  It’s especially uncomfortable when one has lost as much weight as Irene has because the usual “padding” just isn’t there.  She’s attempted to compensate the variance with a very fluffy pillow but often times to no avail!!  Even with a personal television monitor and extensive reading material the time can sometimes pass very slowly.  However, one by-product that Irene has benefited from is the gleaning of weighty spiritual insights, of which there have been many.

This last weekend the 7 hour drive from the Monterey Bay to S. Cal each way was also a challenge…even with reclining seats and a soft pillow .... but Irene was glad to have made the trek.  Being nauseated at home or on the road really doesn’t make that much difference!! She really enjoyed assisting JoAnna during the move to her new apartment. 

Sitting for extended periods of time may be uncomfortable and perhaps something we’re not accustomed to doing .... but there are benefits .... and if we’re still before God He promises to speak to us. 

“Be still and know that I am God ....”
Psalm 46:10a

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Dear Irene and Dave

God knows it all, from beginning to end.  His love is unceasing. 

I have a Bible Study of 8 womens and those ladies are in prayer for you as well. 

Love,

Susan

We are praying that Creatine level up and for heaven sent encouragement to fight the good fight!

We love you Irene…

Laura and Dave Gschwend

Peggy Campbell, a highly regarded board member of Azusa Pacific University, shared the following stirring words at our September meeting:

May the mind of Christ my Savior live in me from day to day, by His love and power controlling all I do and say

May the Word of God dwell richly in my heart from hour to hour so that all may see I triumph only through His power

May the peace of God my Father rule my life in everything that I may be calm to comfort sick and sorrowing

May the love of Jesus fill me as the waters fill the sea; Him exalting, self abasing — this is victory

May I run the race before me strong and brave to face the foe — looking only unto Jesus as I onward go

Following Irene’s early morning dialysis treatment we’re enroute to S. Cal for the weekend.  This is the longest journey that Irene has taken since the hospitalization.  Please pray that she does well throughout the weekend.

It was three months ago this Saturday, October 20, 2007, that Irene was discharged from UCSF.

Hopefully the next update will be Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks for caring,
Dave

Irene and Dave,

While I can only imagine how difficult and disappointing it is to get this news, we know you are both continuing to persevere in faith and we stand with you in prayerful support and supplication for healing.  We know that the Lord’s hand is firmly and lovingly wrapped around Irene and pray for your family-for peace and for tender moments as you are together this weekend.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:37-39

Hi Irene and Dave,

I just read the web site update.  I still have hope for healing!  As we drove home tonight after dinner, I told Ken that I would like us to grow old with Irene and Dave, go to dinner together as two old white hair couples, and recount God’s mighty deeds in our lives for His glory.  We stand with you in prayer and praise.

May the Holy Spirit minister to you.  See you Tuesday.

Shirley

P.S. Opposite fingers and toes.

I’m sorry to hear this news. At the same time, I am inspired by your faith, your hope in the midst of it. I will be praying. And I hope you have a very meaningful weekend with your daughter. I know I enjoy her company every moment I get to spend with her.

How do you feel when you receive bad news?  Somewhat disheartened?  Frustrated?  Sad? Angry?  None of the above?  All of the above?

According to Wikipedia:

In general, creatinine clearance is the removal of creatinine from the body. In renal physiology, creatinine clearance (CCr) is the volume of blood plasma that is cleared of creatinine per unit time. Clinically, creatinine clearance is a useful measure for estimating the glomerular filtration rate (GFR) of the kidneys.

Creatinine is mainly filtered by the kidney, though a small amount is actively secreted. There is little-to-no tubular reabsorption of creatinine. If the filtering of the kidney is deficient, blood levels rise. As a result, creatinine blood levels may be used to calculate creatinine clearance (ClCr), which reflects the glomerular filtration rate (GFR). The GFR is clinically important because it is a measurement of renal function.

We learned today from Satellite Dialysis Center that a recent test indicates Irene’s creatinine level has changed from 1.4 to .03.  Healthy counts range from 75-125.  In other words, Irene’s kidney function has deteriorated.  It’s obviously not what we were hoping for but it is reality.  We cry and we’re saddened at the news but we move forward.  We will not waiver in unbelief.  We trust God implicitly.  He orders our steps.  He is in control.

Psalm 46 gives us great comfort:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

    Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
   
8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
    he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

   
Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

What’s the goal or “bullseye” of YOUR life?

I’m not sure that we think about life or the “end of life” often enough.  Despite the odds of physical death (100% for all of us!!), we’re inclined to live like immortal beings whose tomorrows will stretch on forever.  I observe people who are passionate about the stock market and planning retirement or are consumed with superficial topics such as news, sports and weather.  Rarely do people engage in the more significant conversations that are really much more relevant to how we focus and prioritize our lives .... not only on earth but in the new world order to come.  However, I am thankful for God’s abundantly clear word:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9

The goal of our faith is simply the SALVATION OF OUR SOULS.  Now, that’s what I call a bullseye!!  So here’s a rhetorical question .... Who in their right mind would turn down living in eternity with a loving and just God and one who reconciles all of the injustices that we see and experience on earth?  This same God, who created us, desires an intimate relationship with us .... and saves us from ourselves .... !!

Unfortunately, Irene experienced an agonizing day .... facing nausea and considerable discomfort .... although she drove herself to dialysis and later had a light lunch with Sue Martinez at Marie Callender’s.  After taking an extended nap, Shirley Churchill arrived at our home and worked with her for about 2 hours on physiology techniques.  Irene finally did get some relief. 

Despite the taxing day, Irene is overflowed with an inexpressible JOY and presence of the living God.  She truly is an “overcomer” and I am amazed at her persevering heart!!  She’s “taking no prisoners” and having no self pity.  She is grateful that the GOAL and BULLSEYE of her faith is the salvation of her soul; that she’s saved “on purpose” and will someday (hopefully many years from now!!) live in eternity with her loving and gracious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

We keep our eyes on Him.

Caminando con Fé
Dave