According to Wikipedia:

Suffering, or pain in this sense, is a basic affective experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm in an individual.

• Suffering may be called physical or mental, depending on whether it is linked primarily to a body process or a mind process. Examples of physical suffering are pain (as a sensation), nausea, breathlessness, and itching.  Examples of mental suffering are anxiety, grief, hatred, and boredom.
• The intensity of suffering comes in all degrees, from the triflingly mild to the unspeakably insufferable. Factors of duration and frequency of occurrence are often considered along with that of intensity.
• People’s attitudes toward a suffering may vary hugely according to how much they deem it as light or severe, avoidable or unavoidable, useful or useless, of little or of great consequence, deserved or undeserved, chosen or unwanted, acceptable or unacceptable.
• The words pain and suffering can be confusing and may require careful handling. (1) Sometimes they are synonyms and interchangeable. (2) Sometimes they are used in contradistinction to one another: e.g. “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”, or “pain is physical, suffering is mental”. (3) Sometimes one word refers to a variety of that to which the other refers: e.g. “pain is physical suffering”, or “suffering is severe physical or mental pain”. (4) Sometimes yet, people use them in another fashion.

All sentient beings suffer during their lives, in diverse manners, and often dramatically. No field of human activity deals with the whole subject of suffering, but many are concerned with its nature and processes, its origin and causes, its meaning and significance, its related personal, social, and cultural behaviors, its remedies, management, and uses.

Snubbing the nausea, Irene and her sisters Carmen and Jane were out early and met with Jocelyn, seizing the morning for a shopping spree until mid afternoon!!  The cool fog rolled in this afternoon but it didn’t thwart the enthusiasm and energy accompanying the time that Irene experienced with Jocelyn and her sisters.

Shirley Churchill spent 2 hours with Irene working on physiology issues related to the hope of waking the kidneys up!  I was able to spend quality time with Shirley’s husband, Ken, at Starbucks down the hill from our home.

We remain hopeful that Irene’s kidney function will return and are very grateful for the Churchill’s investment in our lives.  It is humbling to see the Body of Christ manifesting His Presence through so many around us.

Reed Jolley also came by the house and visited before returning to Santa Barbara.  Reed spent the entire weekend at Mount Hermon speaking on the momentous and relevant issue of “suffering”.  It’s a difficult topic that most of us want to avoid.  I hope to obtain the deeply meaningful and multiple messages in a digital format and host them on Irene’s website.

Irene is “suffering” in “real time”, although she’s determined to overcome the challenge and experience the fullness of God’s Presence in the midst of her JOURNEY OF FAITH.  She’s experiencing somewhat of a reprieve from the recent intense season and to that we’re grateful .... hopefully she will never again return to those daring days. 

Caminando con Fé
Dave

You can’t keep a good woman down!!

At least that’s what happened this morning when Irene woke up confronted with the routinely defying nausea.  However, she would not be denied .... by “playing” in the yard and completing several important tasks around the house throughout a beautiful day on the bay. 

Irene’s sisters Carmen and Jane kayaked in Moss Landing before staying overnight at the house.  I was able to get in a long mountain bike ride and it felt pretty “normal” around here today.  For that we rejoice.

I also spoke publicly about Irene’s illness at Mount Hermon this evening, partnering with Reed Jolley from Santa Barbara, addressing a young singles group of about 100 at Mount Hermon.  They were very inspired by Irene’s journey of faith.

It will be wonderful to routinely report that Irene’s activities and health are returning to where she was pre-illness.  I asked her at dinner if she felt that her strength was returning and improving daily.  She was quick to respond with a “YES!” To that end we pray.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

It’s been a good day for Irene.  She was up early and drove herself to and from dialysis treatment.  She’s maintaining her weight in the 109 -111 pound range.  The nausea remained at a low rumble and she was able to “play” in the wisteria garden this afternoon.  It’s refreshing to have a reprieve!!

Irene made an amazing dinner which we relished on the front deck, watching the sunset.  Dinner was followed with the most delicious homemade peach crisp that I’ve “devoured” in my entire life!  After dinner we drove to Home Depot and wandered the store…what an exciting evening…!!

We’re grateful for a wonderful day.  Today is one that reminds us that people like you are praying…and the intercession is deeply appreciated. 

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Have you ever been a waiter or waitress at a restaurant?  I haven’t but it looks like it could be a challenging “order”! 

I’ve found myself once again musing on Isaiah 40:30-32....

....but those who hope (wait) on the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Is 40:30-32

Permit me to examine the verse through a different filter....using the perspective as one “waiting” on someone else....

Dictionary.com defines “to wait” this way:

“to perform the duties of an attendant or servant for”

Now, think about the context of that word application to the verse: “they that wait upon the Lord....” So instead of “waiting for someone”, the interpretation is “waiting on someone”.

Would I be interpreting this correctly by rightly assuming the following....?

They that WAIT UPON the Lord will....

• renew their strength....
• soar on wings like eagles....
• run and not grow weary....
• walk and not faint....

LETHARGY was the defining word today.  Irene’s energy was diminished but her attitude continues to be positive!!!  I did notice, however, that Irene was energized as she prepared our dinner and was able to accomplish some objectives of the day. 

One might think that “waiting” or “serving” would drain energy but scripture instructs us otherwise.  I also personally observed the contrary experience.  Before Irene was ill she was ENERGIZED either practicing hospitality or in an environment where she was serving God and/or others. That’s the Irene we all know and love and when her energy does return, get out of the way!!!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I wait and hope that in my lifetime we’ll see cars flying nearly the way they do on “The Jetson’s” cartoon television program!!

In yesterday’s update I purposely omitted an additional benefit of “waiting” on the Lord.  It’s probably because I’m not sure what “soaring on wings like eagles” specifically denotes in Isaiah 40, but I do embrace the imagery.

You’ll notice that the verse doesn’t say that we will fly .... but it does say that when we wait on the Lord we will SOAR on WINGS like EAGLES. 

SOARING on wings like eagles ....  Just imagine the exhilaration and freedom that one would feel soaring on wings like eagles .... I also wonder if the experience would be similar to the “self actualization” Maslow proposes in his hierarchy of needs ....

Irene had an early morning dialysis treatment and enjoyed lunch with Sue Martinez who also brought her home.  Irene and I later had a very relaxing and inspiring dinner at Mama Mia’s with Reed Jolley, our pastor friend from Santa Barbara. 

What’s the prerequisite to SOARING on wings like eagles?  Simply, to “wait” .... and there is never disappointment when we “wait” according to God’s economy because ....

His way is perfect. 
Psalm 18:30

As we wait for Irene’s body to heal, I’m not sure if we’ll see flying cars in our lifetime but this I do know .... that if we wait on the Lord he promises that we’ll soar on wings like eagles, and that sounds like a very invigorating ride!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

It’s not really in my natural DNA to “wait”. 

I’ve been labeled impatient and I’m sure it’s a well deserved observation!!!  But it’s just so .... inefficient, isn’t it? 

According to dictionary.com, “wait” is defined as “to remain or rest in expectation.”

Can there be benefits of waiting? 

Apparently, there are:

.... but those who hope (wait) in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Is 40:30-32

I observe at least three obvious benefits:

• renewed strength
• to run and not grow weary
• to walk and not be faint

Irene had a refreshing day.  For most of the day she was by herself and got a number of things done around the house and even accomplished several errands.  Yes, driving too!!  She had several meaningful phone calls and an encouraging personal visit from Marilyn Miller.

Actually, I’m beginning to learn and apply the benefits of waiting .... not that I don’t have lots of room to “grow” in this area!!!  Living with Irene as the consummate example of patience has been a challenge for almost 28 years!!  However, as we see her daily persevering in the recovery period her strength is slowly but surely returning.  And for that we rejoice!

Candidly, waiting has never been tougher .... at least for me, but the benefits far outweigh the burden .... and what choice is there, anyway?  We either embrace the circumstances or resist them and take God at his Word or we don’t.  We see that He has spoken truth again .... because we see it firsthand in Irene.

“.... they that wait on the Lord will renew their strength”.

And to that end we pray.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I have been a Tony Snow fan for years.  The commentator and broadcaster ultimately held the position of Press Secretary for President George W. Bush.  In 2005 he announced that he had colon cancer and later had surgery and chemo-therapy.  He’s been an amazing, consistent personality with perceptive insights and has always lived by timeless, value driven principles.

He wrote an outstanding article which is moving and stirring related to his journey.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do .... it’s powerful and compelling!! Click here to read his article.

Primary Amyloidosis is a very rare and terminal disease with a great deal of profound mystery surrounding it.  Much is understood about the disease itself but there is even more that is unknown .... such as this .... no one can explain when or why it strikes certain people.  It assails without discrimination. 

Even though only a small number of people contract the disease annually (about 30 reported cases last year compared to 700,000 reported cases of cancer .... in a total U.S. population of 300,000,000 .... do the math on that diminutive percentage!!), it can overcome anyone at anytime.  That can be a very disconcerting thought, especially because we live in a time when health/wellness and physical fitness are promoted as a means of living a long and fulfilling life.  And most of us would agree with that very sound worldview!

There is also much mystery surrounding “wind” and with those “born of the Spirit .... “

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.
John 3:8

Irene and her sisters Carmen and Jane were out of the house early this morning headed to the street fair ....

Shirley Churchill again gave of herself and precious time, working with Irene on the physiological issues related to waking the kidneys up!

We’re grateful that God’s Spirit has revealed Himself to us in the form of faith in Jesus Christ.  This, too, is a profound mystery because ....

A man (or woman) can receive nothing except it be given from Heaven.
John 3:27

Life is truly a gift; we steward the brief time on this earth according to our measure of faith.  We don’t understand many of the mysteries surrounding Primary Amyloidosis or the unsearchable and infinite attributes of God, but we will do this .... we will put our confidence and trust in Him who gives us life.  We encourage you to do the same.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Irene is thoroughly enjoying her sisters, Carmen and Jane.  They arrived before noon and will be at our house until late tomorrow afternoon.  The three of them ate lunch at Carpo’s and shopped most of the afternoon.  It’s been a pleasant day for Irene…she’s been able to navigate through it with minimal nausea disruption.  Carmen and Jane really breathe life into her with lots of fun and laughter!

I took advantage of the opportunity and went for a very long mountain bike ride and detoured through one of our former neighborhoods in Soquel where some of the most wonderful people we’ve ever known still live.  Irene and I have some great memories living there…it was a fond and reminiscing moment. 

Thanks for checking in…and most of all, for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I love many of the old Puritan Prayers and Devotions…they are always anonymous and heartfelt…

The Valley of Vision

Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
And the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty
thy glory in my valley.

We hope that the new nausea medication will give some relief to Irene’s constant distress.  After an early morning dialysis treatment she persevered through an uncomfortable day.  She has such an amazing attitude and yesterday received another gracious comment at the doctor’s office regarding her “signature” smile.  I told her this morning that I think she sleeps with a smile on her face!!!

Irene is also looking forward to having her sisters Carmen and Jane visit over the weekend.

Our prayer is for vision of a tomorrow without the discomfort of today…that His Glory will manifest itself while Irene is still in the “nausea” valley.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

True or False:

Most people have very strong opinions and want their own way.

My answer would be TRUE .... in large part, because, in my humble opinion, most of us have a personal agenda we’re pursuing with goals we’re trying to attain.  Not that fitting goals and appropriate ambition are necessarily bad.  Rather, God wants us on a “holy ambition” for Him.

And, in many ways, God’s ways are in direct conflict with ours ....

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Is 55:8-9

God longs for us to willingly relinquish our goals and objectives to His agenda and pursue Him with reckless abandon.  Perhaps we’re hesitant to do so because we want to be in control; that perhaps in some way we believe that we know better or that we want to implement our means and our ends .... or we’re somehow convinced that relinquishing control will become a form of bondage. 

But in metaphoric language, God longs for us to “hang the white flag” in unqualified surrender to Him ....

If yesterday was a good day for Irene, today was a “not so good” day.  She was plagued with significant lethargy and icky nausea.  Irene saw Dr. Kumar late this afternoon and he prescribed yet another powerful nausea medication.  Please pray for her tummy relief.  Dr. Kumar intends to monitor Irene’s kidney function for the next 60 days to ascertain whether or not she is a candidate for long term dialysis.  If that is the case, she will have another permanent access port placed in her arm.  The existing port in her chest, called a Tesio, will be removed.

On this journey Irene and I are both re-discovering the true definition of SURRENDER at unfathomable depths.  We’re learning that personal opinions are of little importance .... only the perspective that belongs to our Lord is really material .... and we’re realizing that surrendering to Him doesn’t produce bondage but rather FREEDOM .... the capacity to become all that God intends for us by His power and grace .... even when facing Primary Amyloidosis.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé

Dave

As we journey along in this world facing a terminal disease, some may imagine that we have misplaced hope or are naïve to the harsh realities of this world.  Or, perhaps we’re setting ourselves up for a significant disappointment, or, perhaps even worse, we’re deluded in our thinking as we walk in faith.  After all, isn’t too much faith…just too much?

If that is the case we’re in good company.  Muse on words of Paul:

“If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.”
1 Corinthians 15:19-20

“We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ!”
1 Corinthians 4:10

If our only hope is God’s Word and faith in Christ, it’s imperative that we appropriate the following verse as it relates to its POWER:

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12

Note the audacious claim that the Word of God “.... penetrates even to dividing…joints and marrow ....”

Amyloid is an abnormal protein antibody produced in the bone marrow.  This verse is particularly striking as we realize that God’s Word has the power and authority to “penetrate even to dividing .... joints and marrow”.

This is why we pray God’s Word of healing over Irene.

This is why we anoint Irene with oil and lay hands on her.

This is why.

Irene had a good day.  Sue Martinez picked Irene up from dialysis treatment and they enjoyed breakfast and a trip to Target together.  I later “paid the price” when Irene and I returned this evening to purchase a new garden bench that she had spotted earlier in the day!!

It’s amazing how much the Word of God speaks about our body and body parts:

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,
for she was taken out of man.”

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:22-24

Our trust and confidence is in the One that created us and knows us from the womb.  He is acutely aware of Irene’s dilemma and his loving Presence is undeniable.  If we’re going to be foolish about the realities we face in this world, we will choose to be “fools for Christ” as our only true hope for today and eternity.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

For some time we have embraced the notion that how we answer three specific questions determine to a great extent the earthly path that our lives will take ....

Here they are:

• What are you going to do? (vocation)
• Where are you going to live? (geography)
• Who are you going to marry? (soul mate)

Answering those questions inaugurate a rhythm and momentum which in turn steers a powerful bearing and chisel our lives forever. 

In the spiritual sense, the same is true for the decision we make surrounding the person of Jesus.  We cannot ignore Him nor can we remain neutral to His claims.  We must decide either for or against him.  That “ultimate” decision establishes our eternal destination. 

Jesus says the following:

“He who is not with me is against me .... “
Matthew 12:30

“ .... I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6

Irene was ambitious and out of the house early this morning going to Trader Joe’s and Safeway before returning home after the nausea became too much to bear.  This morning Irene was wearing a coat, gloves and a scarf which is pretty typical because she’s always cold .... it became so warm today (high of about 90 degrees with no air conditioning) that she was later shedding clothes .... what a reversal .... !!

Shirley Churchill graciously came by the house this afternoon and again worked with Irene on physiology techniques designed to awaken the kidneys.  We hope and pray to that end.

Certainly how we answer certain questions influence our earthly path and destination.  We can also be certain of Jesus’ words:

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.”
John 14:2

We’re glad to know that deciding in Jesus’ favor guarantees an eternal destination that He is personally preparing for us ....

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I’m not one for sitting around, but I do have a recurring quiet time, usually at “o’dark thirty” when I read The Word, pray and prioritize my day.  It seems that when I’m sitting quietly God can speak more clearly .... and I listen more attentively!!!  I then venture into the world putting “legs to my prayers”!!

I recently perused the word “sitting” throughout scripture and there seems to be a correlation between sitting and experiencing God’s activity in our midst.  Here is one brief example:

The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by.”
Genesis 18:1-3

Sitting in dialysis treatment three days a week for three hour settings can be a long time in one position.  It’s especially uncomfortable when one has lost as much weight as Irene has because the usual “padding” just isn’t there.  She’s attempted to compensate the variance with a very fluffy pillow but often times to no avail!!  Even with a personal television monitor and extensive reading material the time can sometimes pass very slowly.  However, one by-product that Irene has benefited from is the gleaning of weighty spiritual insights, of which there have been many.

This last weekend the 7 hour drive from the Monterey Bay to S. Cal each way was also a challenge...even with reclining seats and a soft pillow .... but Irene was glad to have made the trek.  Being nauseated at home or on the road really doesn’t make that much difference!! She really enjoyed assisting JoAnna during the move to her new apartment. 

Sitting for extended periods of time may be uncomfortable and perhaps something we’re not accustomed to doing .... but there are benefits .... and if we’re still before God He promises to speak to us. 

“Be still and know that I am God ....”
Psalm 46:10a

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Peggy Campbell, a highly regarded board member of Azusa Pacific University, shared the following stirring words at our September meeting:

May the mind of Christ my Savior live in me from day to day, by His love and power controlling all I do and say

May the Word of God dwell richly in my heart from hour to hour so that all may see I triumph only through His power

May the peace of God my Father rule my life in everything that I may be calm to comfort sick and sorrowing

May the love of Jesus fill me as the waters fill the sea; Him exalting, self abasing — this is victory

May I run the race before me strong and brave to face the foe — looking only unto Jesus as I onward go

Following Irene’s early morning dialysis treatment we’re enroute to S. Cal for the weekend.  This is the longest journey that Irene has taken since the hospitalization.  Please pray that she does well throughout the weekend.

It was three months ago this Saturday, October 20, 2007, that Irene was discharged from UCSF.

Hopefully the next update will be Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks for caring,
Dave