“Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding”
Proverbs 4:7

“.... get wisdom, discipline and understanding ....”
Proverbs 23:23

WISDOM defined: 

“The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight.”

• So, how do we get it?
• How do we discern or judge that which is true, right or lasting…or insightful?
• How do we know when God is speaking to us as compared to other voices and “noise” in our lives?
• Is it possible to really KNOW that God is speaking to us?
• As FINITE human beings is it possible to grasp the INFINITE?

Those are certainly questions worthy of exploring and this is a season where we need WISDOM!!  We’re navigating through “uncharted waters” and strategic direction, in terms of knowing which way to turn, is absolutely vital.  After following Christ for 26+ years, we have concluded the following .... which is this .... that God speaks WISDOM to us primarily, but not exclusively, in the following ways:

• God’s Word, The Bible
• God’s Holy Spirit, speaking to us as followers of Christ
• Through prayer; both intentional and spontaneous
• Through Godly people, where the Holy Spirit resides
• In and through circumstances that validate and do not contradict the Word of God

We’re grateful that God has given us this “road map” as the “itinerary” for life.

Irene enjoyed a nice visit with Marilyn Miller on this balmy Aptos day.  Irene has been contending with lethargy daily.  One reason she’s feeling this way is the nightly insomnia which is also a challenge!!  She’s also been “testing” the nausea medication by not taking it the last two days.  The nausea remains but at this point it is not any better or worse than when she’s taking the powerful combination.  Interesting .... stay tuned ....!!

We have gleaned WISDOM from many of you and are grateful for the insight and care expressed in so various ways.  We are desperate for wisdom and understanding at every juncture and are confident that He is speaking to us along the journey.  I’m reminded of Proverbs 1:20-21:

Wisdom calls aloud in the street,
     she raises her voice in the public squares;
at the head of the noisy streets she cries out,
     in the gateways of the city she makes her speech ....

And we are assured of gaining wisdom with this promise in James 1:5:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

YOU have also been a source of great personal encouragement to us; thank you for your continued support of our family during this difficult time.

Thank you, for regularly checking these updates.  However, due to extenuating circumstances, the next UPDATE will not be launched until this next Sunday.

In the interim, may God bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand, granting YOU wisdom in this season of your life.

Caminando con Fé

Dave

Irene experienced a restful day after an early morning dialysis treatment.  Today was a day of coordinating logistics between doctor’s offices, UCSF and Long’s Drug Store.  We did take another stroll this evening on the beach which has been good exercise for Irene’s legs.

The world would imply that only the exceptionally gifted, the sophisticated scholar and the most attractive and charismatic person are qualified for occupying a significant place of leadership and influence in the world.  Scripture and my personal observation prove otherwise.  I am impressed by Hudson Taylor’s walk with God and the impact he had in the world.  Reed Jolley is a wonderful friend from Santa Barbara who spoke yesterday morning at Mount Hermon.  He wrote a stirring article which follows, about the faith and suffering of Hudson Taylor.  I hope it inspires you. 

The Continuous Habit of the Soul: Hudson Taylor’s Secret in Suffering
Author: Reed Jolley

He was short, soft-spoken and shy.  He didn’t believe he possessed great spiritual gifts and on more than one occasion referred to himself as God’s little servant.  He was given to depression and melancholy and was called a madman by some who worked alongside him.  One colleague called him the strangest looking man I have ever met.  But it was through this little servant, James Hudson Taylor, that God brought the gospel to China. 

English born Hudson Taylor (1832-1905) gave his life to Christ as a young adult and never looked back.  By the time of his death he had served his Lord in China for almost 40 years.  Along the way he founded the China Inland Mission, which during his lifetime grew to include 205 mission stations and over 800 missionaries.  More than 125,000 Chinese met Christ through Taylor’s ministry before he died.

I have read two lengthy biographies on the life of Hudson Taylor — 11 years apart.  Each was terribly exciting and each moved me deeply to a closer walk with God.  The life of this pioneer missionary reads a bit like a Robert Ludlum novel.  Taylor went where white people had never gone.  He faced xenophobia, riotous crowds, natural disasters, political opposition and disease.  He lived on faith and, like Jason Bourne, escaped time and again from seemingly hopeless situations.  Living by faith, for Taylor, meant trusting in God to act like the loving father God claimed to be.  His faith was instructed by his own experience as a father:

I notice that it is not difficult for me to remember that the little ones need breakfast in the morning, dinner at midday, and something before they go to bed at night.  Indeed, I could not forget it.  And I find it impossible to suppose that our Heavenly Father is less tender or mindful than I.

Living by faith, therefore, meant having a child-like trust that God would provide what was necessary. While traveling with Harry Beauchamp and C.T. Studd to bring the gospel to Szechwan, Taylor’s group was out of both food and money.  The missionaries were, literally, hungry.  As they walked along the road Hudson cried out, We thank Thee, Lord, for this our food.  Beauchamp couldn’t help but ask, Where is the food?  Taylor smiled and said, It cannot be far away.  Our Father knows we are hungry and will send our breakfast soon: but you will have to wait and say your grace when it comes, while I shall be ready to begin at once! (Yes, the food came shortly thereafter.)

But life in China was anything but an action-packed thrill ride.  James Hudson Taylor suffered greatly in his efforts to bring the gospel to those who had never heard about Jesus.  While in his thirties this little servant buried three of his own children and then the wife whom he loved so dearly.  Taylor’s sufferings shook him to his core, yet he persisted in faith.  After losing two children and then his wife in a single summer he wrote,

I cannot describe to you my feelings; I do not understand them myself.  I feel like a person stunned with a blow, or recovering from a faint, and as yet but partially conscious ....

But Taylor’s pain was instructed by his understanding of God.  The above quotation continues,

.... But I would not have it otherwise, no, not a hair’s breadth, for my world.  My Father has ordered it so — therefore I know it is, it must be best, and I thank Him for so ordering it.  I feel utterly crushed, and yet “strong in the Lord and in the power of his might”.  Oft-times my heart is nigh to breaking but, withal, I had almost said, I never knew what peace and happiness were before — so much have I enjoyed in the very sorry .... I could not have believed it possible that He could so have helped and comforted my poor heart.

Notice the gutsy faith, the spiritual moxie of Hudson Taylor — stunned and crushed, yet confident and comforted.  This 19th century saint denied neither the painfulness of his grief nor the incomprehensible comfort of his heavenly Father.  What was his secret?  How did he persevere?  Why didn’t Hudson Taylor’s faith crumble and his mission collapse in the midst of such adversity?  To quote Job’s wife, why didn’t Taylor curse God and die?

Hudson Taylor’s secret was what he called the continuous habit of the soul.  Here was a missionary who taught himself to drink deeply and continually of the refreshing living water of Christ.

Jesus said, “Come unto me and drink.” Not, come and take a hasty draught; not, come and slightly alleviate, or for a short time remove one’s thirst.  No! “drink’” or “be drinking” constantly, habitually .... One coming, one drinking may refresh and comfort; but we are to be ever coming, ever drinking.

When asked how he persevered after so much grief and pain Taylor said, The secret was that Jesus was satisfying the deep thirst of heart and soul.  The continuous habit of Taylor’s soul was to spend time with God regardless of life’s circumstances or busyness. 

Dr. Howard Taylor wrote a book on the spiritual life of his father, Hudson Taylor.  Howard traveled many miles with his father and included the following in his book, Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret:

It was not easy for Mr. Taylor in his changeful life, to make time for prayer and Bible study, but he knew that it was vital. Well do [we] remember traveling with him month after month in northern China, by cart and wheelbarrow, with the poorest of inns at night. Often with only one large room for coolies and travelers alike, they would screen off a corner for their father and another for themselves, with curtains of some sort; and then after sleep at last had brought a measure of quiet they would hear a match struck and seek the flicker of candlelight which told that Mr. Taylor, however weary, was pouring over the little Bible in two volumes always at hand. From two to four a.m. was the time he usually gave to prayer; the time when he could be most sure of being undisturbed to wait upon God.

As we live out our faith in our own time and place, troubles, grief and suffering will come our way.  We will not suffer in the same ways that Hudson Taylor suffered, but the storms of life will arrive on our doorstep. Jesus said it would be so. Let us, therefore, become people who employ Hudson Taylor’s secret.  Let us drink — deeply and continually — of the Living Water who refreshes our soul and gives us hope in time of need.  Hudson Taylor’s citizenship wasn’t in China, nor was it in England.  And our citizenship isn’t in the United States.  Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Let us know Him well so that we long for His coming.

Do we glean more understanding from suffering than not?  Can we actually gain through loss?  Should we desire suffering in order to know God more intimately?

Paul shares his insight into these questions with these comments ....

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ — the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death ....
Philippians 3:7-10

As followers of Christ it’s so much easier to focus on the first part of verse 10, “.... I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection” .... and intentionally overlook or ignore the second part of that verse .... “.... and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death ....”

Most of us are risk and pain averse.  I don’t wonder why .... because suffering sounds so .... awful and painful!!  Who would intentionally CHOOSE suffering in order to grow and know someone better?  What’s astounding is that Paul actually does .... he DESIRES “.... to know Christ .... and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death ....”

As Irene has shared in the “fellowship of Christ’s suffering” with Amyloid she has come to know Him more intimately and EXPONENTIALLY.  In fact, the same is true for me, even though admittedly I have not endured anything close to the degree of Irene’s pain and distress.  I have, however, been pretty close to her along the journey!  What I can share from personal experience is that the words in The WORD literally JUMP OFF THE PAGE at new dimensions for both of us.

Insight, revelation and inspiration are appropriated into our lives at revolutionary levels.  You may recognize our faces but we’re not the same people.  There is more focus and clarity around our life purpose.  Humbly, the magnitude, extent and capacity of our spiritual growth have been capricious and, candidly, beyond the explanation of meager words.  Irene did not request nor choose this path, but her amazing and tender RESPONSE to all of this has allowed for new revelation and insight into God’s Word and His faithfulness, His loving character and the peace that surpasses all understanding.  The presence and manifestation of His Spirit are in our midst.  He is REAL.  And, despite her suffering, Irene discovers every day that Jesus truly is the “God of all comfort”.  Her love for Him grows moment by moment. 

Irene’s nausea was particularly poignant today (though we don’t really know why) but it did not dissuade her from taking a short stroll on the Rio Del Mar beach.  The lethargy was only overcome by her resolve to do something today!  She did, later, however, take a nap.  After that, we took a drive along the oceanfront (I was driving!!!).  We know that the chemotherapy and amyloid are the culprits of the chronic nausea and continue to hope that the amyloid is entering remission but we won’t know for quite some time.  We are acutely aware that the amyloid has also invaded her liver and intestinal tract.  The high blood pressure she’s experiencing is hopefully under control with medication.  And, we await the kidneys to “wake up”.  Thank you for caring and for your continued intercessory prayer.

The suffering that Irene patiently endures serves to advance her personal knowledge of the Holy One.  She intentionally embraces The WORD and His Purposes on this journey.  It’s also been astonishing to see my own capacity significantly enlarged through this “real time” encounter. 

He is faithful and we, as one, glorify His Name. 

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Break-through defined:

1. An act of overcoming or penetrating an obstacle or restriction.
2. A major achievement or success that permits further progress

I think that many people relish the freedom that comes from driving.  Personally, it’s a source of great delight and I rarely grow tired of being “behind the wheel”.  With that perspective in mind, Irene had a “break-through” day and drove for the first time since April!!

Here’s the quick account: Our pickup wouldn’t start this morning so we used jumper cables and I followed Irene to the dealership.  Later in the day, after taking a nap and sleeping off the nausea medication (which is a driving impairment), she drove me back to the dealership in her car and returned to the house while I was taking care of the payment.  She took the long way home (avoiding the freeway traffic); I took the freeway and actually got home first, just in time to see her broad smile as she drove up and parked in the garage.  Needless to say, it is a confidence builder and emotional breakthrough for Irene to drive again.  Was it a short drive? Yes.  Was it “long” on encouragement and pleasure? It was huge! 

After coming home, Irene was quick to grab a garden rake and spend some time in the yard after the early morning rain.  Everything smells so fresh and clean!!  She then prepared a wonderful soup for us to enjoy on this cloudy evening!!!

The liberty that comes from driving will obviously enable Irene to feel more independent.  We are grateful for so many who are cheering her on.  Thank you for your loving concern and checking on Irene’s wellbeing.  We continue to hope and pray that her kidneys will “wake up” and the nausea will completely subside. 

Now that Irene will be driving (at least occasionally) perhaps one of these days you’ll run into her at Safeway.  When you do, you’ll know with certainty that I am no longer ZIG ZAGGING the aisles ....

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Have you ever “Googled” your name, telephone number or other personal information?  If not, you may be surprised at what you find because we live in the most TRANSPARENT GENERATION since the beginning of time. 

But does it really matter?  I think so .... and my belief is reduced to this: that the TRUTH matters .... now more than ever before.  With cameras on cell phones and emerging on almost “every street corner” .... with GPS tracking systems following us everywhere we go, with the ability to verify information online, you and I can no longer “fly under the radar”.  What you and I do is or could become very public, observable and verifiable despite the provocative privacy laws.  And this information is available .... almost instantaneously. 

However, this development shouldn’t be discouraging. Jesus admonishes us to live transparent lives.  His words, “the truth will set you free” couldn’t be more relevant.  Transparency and vulnerability should be at the core of who we are.  But frequently, for many of us, they’re not.  The world will tell us to “be strong”, to “have a stiff upper lip”, and so on, because being vulnerable and transparent shows weakness.  And too often we’re putting on a mask and pretending for that very reason.  However, scripture challenges that notion with this claim from Paul the Apostle: “when I am weak, then I am strong”.  From God’s perspective, when we’re vulnerable and transparent, we’re actually demonstrating true inner strength and confidence in Him. 

Another related issue is that often our public persona doesn’t match the real you or me.  God’s goal for us would be to live a life of CONVERGENCE where our private behavior matches our public personality.  Put another way, our reputation, which is how people know us PUBLICLY, should be a mirror image and match that of our integrity, that which is what we do PRIVATELY.

So what does this topic have to do with Irene?  Simply this: she is one of the most transparent people I have ever known.  No pretense; no positioning; no personal agenda other than concern for others; what you see is what you get; a servant’s heart.  She has modeled transparency for years.  It’s just who she has become.  As it relates to Amyloid, we had to deal with truth and reality from its inception.  We’ve been “real” with our emotions and the many challenges of what we’re facing.  Truth and honesty have been at the core of how we’ve communicated with each other about the significant matters before us.  Transparency is a character quality worth pursuing because it actually provides many benefits.

Sue Martinez picked Irene up from dialysis this morning and they ate breakfast at the Red Apple Restaurant before coming home.  Irene rested this afternoon; the nausea maintained a low rumble because of the powerful medication combination, allowing her to eat more frequently.  She’s not gaining weight yet but she’s certainly making the effort!!

The next time you GOOGLE someone’s name remember that God knows your name and doesn’t have to rely upon the internet to know what you’re up to.  He CREATED transparency!  He’s current, 24/7 .... including your thought life.  It’s either incredibly liberating to recognize this truth or it is terribly convicting!!

For me, I am grateful that God isn’t surprised at my thought life or behavior. His love is consistent and he’s always ready to deal with me honestly and truthfully.  As I confess my sins he forgives me and allows me to grow closer to Him.

I am also incredibly grateful for Irene whose transparency inspires me everyday.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

It’s also hard to believe that it was 2 months ago today that Irene was released from UCSF.  Time certainly does march on.  This is also the first day that Irene spent entirely by herself.  It was somewhat awkward to leave her at 4.30 a.m. knowing that I was returning this evening after a series of meetings in Sacramento, but both of us had peace about it.  She did well.  Irene moved slowly through the day and accomplished many household “to do’s”. 

Ecclesiastes is clear from the passage above; there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the sun.  Related to Irene’s healing and restoration, we wait for God’s perfect timing during this season, knowing that He is never in a hurry but is always on time. 

Caminando con Fé

Dave

A.W. Tozer makes this significant and profound claim .... “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

That’s a powerful statement worth meditating upon.  If you’re like me there’s a natural tendency to think about God and then approach him focusing on my problems, pains, and disappointments.  It’s not that he doesn’t want to respond in our time of need.  He does.  However, we’re challenged in scripture, over and over again to approach God on the basis of who he is and all that he has done in our lives.  It is imperative to have a RIGHT view and a HIGH view of God.

Here are a couple of questions to ponder:

• Do I view God in light of my circumstances or in view of His Character?
• Do I approach God with praise and gratitude for the many benefits that he has bestowed upon me?

Psalm 103 is a hymn of Thanksgiving written about the all loving God and points out the “many benefits” that God has bestowed upon us:

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;

16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.

17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children-

18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.

21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.

22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Irene had a good day.  Jocelyn took Irene to dialysis this morning since I was traveling to S. Cal.  Sue Martinez picked Irene up from dialysis and took her to the Silver Spur for breakfast.  Afterward they wandered through Beverly’s (fabric and craft store) one of Irene’s favorite stores!!  She rested this afternoon and enjoyed somewhat of a reprieve from the nausea!!!

As we think about God, Irene and I want our perspective to reflect that of the psalmist.  We strive for a high view of God so that we rightly relate to him.  We praise Him for who he is and “forget not all his benefits” (Psalm 103:2).

We also wait, hope and trust for God’s complete healing of Irene’s disease (Psalm 103:3b).

Caminando con Fé

Dave

We’re forever grateful that we KNOW and SERVE the only true God who can sympathize with our pain and suffering .... although I am not sure that we fully appreciate the amount of excruciating pain that God himself endured, allowing Himself to be brutally executed on a tree for the sins of the world.

Most of us know from firsthand experience that a toothache can be very agonizing .... but in the big picture, it’s nothing compared to true pain and suffering, especially when compared to what Irene has endured with Amyloid.  She did, however, have a dentist appointment today for a troubling molar.  Thankfully they were able to solve the matter rather quickly so that after several days of discomfort, she’s now free of further grief.

Irene rested most of the afternoon and has tussled with lethargy and nausea for the last couple of days.  She continues to endure the drawn out, 24/7, uncomfortable feeling.  She remains undaunted, however, in her toil to appropriate the abundant and victorious life that she knows is hers by faith. 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles ....”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

We trust in Him; thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

As Irene has ventured out of the house more frequently she’s been sporting colorful scarves on her shoulder/neck areas.  Not only is she somewhat self conscious of her nearly black skin from the chemotherapy and stem cell transplant but she has 3 very distinct SCARS on the side of her neck from the temporary “Quinton” dialysis access port (3 lines) during the UCSF stay.  The Quinton was ultimately removed and replaced with the Tesio which is the existing dialysis access port which was surgically implanted directly into a heart artery.  (One quick side-note: please recognize that the darker hue is not a defining matter for Irene or me; she merely wants to return to her natural olive complexion).

As Irene and I examined her skin and discussed the scarring on her neck, this passage came to mind:

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Mathew 20:24-31

Over the last several months Irene’s FAITH has amplified to stratospheric levels. As we conversed about the scarring, she made the following observation regarding the steroid treatment wherein she lost vision in both of her eyes from detached retinas, completely baffling the UCSF medical team.  You’ll recall that she lost her vision for several months.

It is truly by God’s grace that I made it through those days, but God gave me contentment that I cannot explain .... my vision was so blurred that I simply had to trust Him and hope that I would see again ....

Consider Irene’s phenomenal perspective within the context of what she was facing at that time .... then contemplate the following:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6

Irene had an early morning dialysis treatment and rested most of the afternoon.  The nausea reared its ugly head in a way that it hadn’t for several weeks but she endured the episode .... thank you for your continued expressions of concern for Irene during this season of recovery.

While hospitalized at UCSF, Irene experienced the peace that transcends all understanding that can only be in God Himself.  Her anxiety was replaced with His Presence as she prayed and rested in Him.  She walks in that same place today, trusting Jesus to completely heal and restore her body.  The marks on Jesus’ hands and side are clear evidence of the price he paid for dying on the cross.  The darker hue and scars on Irene’s neck are visible reminders of the price she paid with the diagnosis of Amyloidosis yet also that of God’s faithful provision, using the medical miracles of our day to preserve her life. 

Caminando con Fé

Dave

CRUCIBLE defined:

1. A vessel made of a refractory substance such as graphite or porcelain, used for melting and calcining materials at high temperatures
2. A severe test, as of patience or belief; a trial
3. A place, time, or situation characterized by the confluence of powerful intellectual, social, economic, or political forces

I would say that Irene qualifies under option 2 .... “A severe test, as of patience or belief; a trial.” Do you agree?  Personally, I am convinced that she PASSES the severe test with an “A+” for her poise and carriage throughout the entire ordeal.

I am mindful of this relevant passage:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
1 Peter 3:9

I was recently inspired after reading Walt Wilson’s (a good friend who’s wife Dee is battling cancer and also the author of the book, The Internet Church) account of several young Marines as they completed their own CRUCIBLE ....

.... These men witnessed the Commanding General’s Flag Raising Ceremony, the graduation of 3rd Battalion Marines, and the Emblem Ceremony for Lima Company, 2nd Battalion. Lima Company was on their return from the Crucible, the final test to become a Marine after 11 weeks of the toughest training of any military in the world, including Special Forces.

The Crucible is 54 hours of nonstop maneuvers, 40 miles of forced marching with a 65 pound pack, ten pounds of body armor, multiple obstacle courses with 30 caliber live firing across the barb wire crawl through thick mud, concussion explosives being set off all around them, carrying of wounded through simulated combat explosions, little water, no meals (just protein bars) and only two four-hour sleep breaks for over the entire 54 hours. They are in constant motion fighting their way through combat obstacles.

The Crucible is the final test to become a Marine. At 3 am they leave the simulated combat range and begin the long march to the Iwo Jima monument to receive their first Marine Corps emblem, the eagle, globe and anchor.

Our party assembled at the Iwo Jima monument at 7:30 am to await Lima Company’s arrival. From the distance we could hear them singing Marine marching cadence. Andy commented it sounded like lions roaring in the distance, even though we could not yet see them. Then an entire company appeared shouting their cadence, limping, many bent over struggling to make the moment. All were muddy and wet, but they were all smiles knowing they past the test. There is almost a 30% dropout rate among Marine recruits. These were the survivors, the victors, newly-minted Marines. As the entire company assembled at the Iwo Jima Monument the ceremony began with prayer then the handing of an emblem to each man while the Marine Corps Hymn was played softly in the background. Most shed tears during this time as they become Marines — a defining moment in their young lives.

Despite her nausea, Irene was up early this morning making breakfast burritos .... “Yum”!! .... Then, since we hit the three month mark since the stem cell transplant we began looking at several spa options.  The UCSF Nephrology Department strongly recommends using a spa as part of the recovery treatment for Irene’s renal failure (ESRD).  There’s also a growing body of evidence suggesting that Irene is feeling more independent .... she’s starting to think about the notion of DRIVING .... look out sidewalks and shopping malls!!  Her vision has improved enough since the detached retinas episode that the only concern is that of the defensive driving reaction.  The jury is still out in terms of when she’ll actually start behind the wheel again ....

I’m extremely grateful for Irene’s faithfulness through her own “CRUCIBLE”.  I wish for her sake that it was only “54 hours of non stop maneuvers” like the Marines because she’s been going through her CRUCIBLE since April.  Yet I am confident of this .... that she’s as tough and determined as any Marine there is.  Yet she inspires me not only with her resilience and courage, but with a gentle perseverance .... and keeps smiling through it all .... especially when she’s playing in the sandbox .... uh, I mean .... the “wisteria” garden!!

Thank you for your continued prayers for her complete healing and restoration!!!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Today is Irene’s 3 month BIRTHDAY!!!! 

It was three months ago today that Irene had the stem cell transplant at UCSF, giving her hope for living!!  We recall the event as if it were yesterday.  (See the June 15, 2007 Update).  It is very sobering to realize that without the stem cell transplant, given the diagnosis and all that Irene has experienced, that she would probably already be in Heaven waiting for us to arrive. 

We are also reminded that Irene was discharged from UCSF on Friday, July 20, 2007.  That was another day which will be remembered in our household forever ....

Thus, we celebrate LIFE on this earth, fully appreciating the truth that our permanent citizenship is in Heaven.

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”
Philippians 3:20

As stewards sojourning the planet for a brief period of time, we live for one reason .... to glorify our God and Creator, Jesus Christ. HE gives us life and breath and purpose because we belong to Him. 

Irene and JoAnna were shopping and running errands early this morning and then rested the afternoon.  Irene’s nausea was at a low rumble .... it’s been a good day.

As we celebrate Irene’s 3 months of life since the stem cell transplant, we pause and celebrate the ONE who gives us life .... and earnestly praise Him in Spirit and Truth for all that He has accomplished in and through this experience.  Our LOVE for God has increased exponentially, our TRUST has grown momentously, our FAITH has gone to unfathomable depths.  We are confident that He orders and directs our lives .... including every step of Irene’s journey as he heals her day by day.  He is with us; He will never forsake us.  We are eternally grateful that He first loved us that we may love him in return by intimately walking with him and serving him with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength.

“Great is your faithfulness”
Lamentations 3:23

Caminando con Fé

Dave

6.30 p.m. ....

Author Bob Buford makes the following "confessions" related to the CONTENT used in his "Musings" e-newsletter entitled, "Life as a State of Perpetual Disorder" (September 14, 2007)

Does it ever seem that life just won't fall into place the way you planned? I keep calendars, I make appointments, I have daily plans, weekly plans, plans for my whole life .... But, much of the time, perhaps most of my time my life, and the lives of most of those I know, are much more spontaneous than our linear plans would describe.

.... I never plan for what comes next. Well, that's not entirely true. I make all sorts of plans, but what I use just happens. Stuff happens and I react to it.

I've been working with an editor trying to make an orderly, linear book out of these musings. It's very frustrating. Peter Drucker, the management guru of all time, once shocked me by saying, "....opportunity is unpredictable. Most of the time, opportunity comes in over the transom. And opportunity doesn't stay long. If you don't respond to an opportunity, it moves on." The same is true for problems. If you don’t change plans and react, they just get worse. As Shakespeare said, "Readiness is all." It's readiness and reaction.

Bob continues ....

So the nature of these musings is spontaneous and reactive. They can't really be put in order. I tried it and it didn't work because my life — like yours I expect — just won't conform to my plans. It is messy. It is disorderly. It is one surprise after another.

Bob goes on ....

My beautiful wife, Linda, has watched with bemused sympathy as I have twisted and turned in the breeze trying to solve this making-order-out-of-chaos issue. She came in this past weekend at the farm to tell me that she's taking a course on the Psalms. She said, "Your musings don’t have any order. They are more like Psalms. They are reactions along the road of life. The Psalms are not theology. They are more how people relate to change." Then she read me this (from the course material prepared by her friend, Verdell Krisher):

PSALMS —
Are they poems?	Are they conflicting?
Are they prayers?	Are they experiential??
Are they praises?	Are they majestic?
Are they songs?	Are they dark?
Are they laments?	Are they intense?
Are they personal?	Are they accusing?
Are they communal?	Are they comforting?

The answer is "YES."

Philip Yancey: "the 150 psalms are as difficult, disordered, and messy as life itself."

I really value what Bob has shared above given where we’re living today .... !!!

Thus, by now, you understand my point .... which is that many times my UPDATES could be described as ....

• "Difficult, disordered and messy as life."
• "They are reactions along the road of life"

....targeted especially to Irene's journey. The UPDATE is our best way to keep people abreast of Irene's ongoing progress (yes, progress, stated intentionally) as well as sharing her journey within the context of our confident faith in Jesus Christ.

Irene had a restful and relaxing day following dialysis treatment this morning. Sue Martinez, again, graciously picked Irene up and brought her home. Her nausea subsided somewhat and whenever that occurs there is significant relief to her well being .... JoAnna flew in this evening for the weekend so we're looking forward to having her and Jocelyn around the house!!!

So, when it seems that the author of the UPDATES is spontaneous, reactive and doesn't appear to have a linear view of how they come together, please realize that right now life is rather disorderly and we're doing a lot of "reacting" as we traverse along this new road we're learning to navigate called the Amyloid Highway ....

Caminando con Fé

Dave

8 p.m…

El-Roi (EL ROY) (The God Who Sees)

“Hagar referred to the Lord, who had spoken to her as ‘the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have seen the One who sees me!’”
Genesis 16:13

We’re so grateful that El Roi sees and knows everything.  The all seeing God knows and understands all that is happening surrounding Irene’s circumstances and we’re confident that he is pleased with her response as she walks through this ordeal.

Irene was challenged by nagging nausea and lethargy most of the day.  Marilyn Miller graciously spent some time with her this morning. 

El Roi is never surprised by anything. 

“From His throne He observes all who live on the earth.”
Psalm 33:14

“Nothing in all creation can hide from Him.  Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes.
Hebrews 4:13

We exalt the all seeing God who can sympathize with us and manifests His presence in our midst every day.  We trust in Him.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

8 p.m. ....

A brief but strong impression hit me yesterday as I set the house alarm and left Irene at 4.30 a.m.  I was preparing to drive to Sacramento for a series of business meetings that obviously began very early in the morning!  To frame the intense feeling, here is some background and please forgive the personal reference ....

I’ve always been athletic, extremely competitive, was a cop (SWAT Team, undercover narcotics and major crimes task force) for 10 years, an elected politician and the breadwinner of our home.  I’m in the “risk transfer” business.  I have always perceived myself to be the spiritual leader (actually, the family priest) and consummate “protector” of Irene and our family.  For the last 20+ years every time I leave the house, I “bless” my family .... by literally raising my right arm and open palm in the direction of each person wherever they may be .... Irene, Jocelyn and JoAnna, and ask God to bless and protect each of them that day. 

So, here’s what hit me as I was SETTING THE BURGLAR and FIRE ALARM, LOCKING the door, and entering the garage .... I thought, “I can’t protect my family against amyloid”.  I can set the alarm and endeavor to do all that I can within my power to “protect” but this worthy enemy called amyloid is a very significant threat to overcome.  Even the “risk transfer” component of a healthy diet and exercise mantra is irrelevant.  The disease does not discriminate.  Healthy or not, it can strike anyone at anytime.  Candidly, it was a hard hitting, frustrating feeling, which was, truthfully, extremely overwhelming to consider. 

I thought again about Eldredge’s book, “Wild at Heart”, which identifies the three core needs of a man ....

• A battle to fight
• An adventure to live
• A Beauty to rescue

Jumping into “WARRIOR” mode was the natural response when Irene’s symptoms were first diagnosed and we were in “emergency mode” throughout the three month hospital stay.  My initiative was to fight the enemy and was literally in “a beauty to rescue” mode .... fitting perfectly into a man’s greatest needs .... but it dawned on me yesterday .... “I couldn’t protect her from amyloid ....”

Sue Martinez picked Irene up from dialysis treatment today. Irene rested this afternoon and ate a light dinner that Jocelyn fixed for her before going home from work.  It’s very convenient for us to be right in the middle of Jocelyn’s apartment and her office!!!

So what do we do when we encounter something completely out of our control?  Something so immense, so enormous, so colossal, that we’re unable to make any progress overcoming the challenge on our own.  In fact, the mere stature of the beast is intimidating and overwhelming to even contemplate.  So, what do we do?  For me, we completely surrender to Him who is in control.  We entrust ourselves to Him who is faithful.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

9 p.m…

When I returned home this evening around 7 p.m., I couldn’t find Irene in any of the living areas of the house… as I continued to scurry through each room calling out her name many thoughts flooded my mind related to her safety and welfare…that is, until I saw the back door wide open and discovered her, water hose in hand, fertilizing plants, smiling ear to ear and enjoying the “wisteria garden”!!

I later learned that after spending time earlier in the day with Phyllis Cauwels and also enjoying an extended telephone call with Margie Anderson, she became restless, despite the nagging nausea. So, she did two loads of laundry, ironed, mopped the kitchen and vacuumed the entire house before proceeding outside. Perhaps her recovery has been stifled because of me?

Irene received a call late in the day from UCSF with more good news. Her bilirubin count is 1.9; the lowest it has been since the stem cell transplant. With a target of 1.5, she is making significant progress!!

Thank you for your continued support for Irene during this recovery season. Hopefully she’s “coming down Everest”. We know that there are going to be really good days like this one, challenging days like we’ve seen before, and through it all, we see the Hand of God in our midst. He is in control.

Caminando con Fé
Dave