It is my experience that many people have misunderstandings or misrepresentations of who God really is.  Two traditional concepts might include ....

• A “genie in the bottle” that should grant our every wish
• A grumpy old man that’s pointing his angry and accusing finger

However, to the contrary, did you know that God takes great DELIGHT in you?  Did you know that he promises to quiet you with his LOVE?  Did you know that he will REJOICE over you with SINGING?

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zeph 3:17

Irene drove herself to and from dialysis treatment today and enjoyed breakfast with Sue Martinez.  She flouted the nausea and had a productive day decorating the house with holiday accents.  We had an early dinner at Carpo’s with Jocelyn who provided the remarkable photo titled, “A Smile from God”.

Irene, too, has a “signature” smile that represents an abiding Holy Spirit and the hope for healing and restoration.  What we believe is this .... that if God DELIGHTS in us, LOVES us and REJOICES over us with SINGING, which we know he does, we’re very confident that he’s doing it with a smile!!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

You keep him (or her) in perfect peace
  whose mind is stayed on you,
  because he (or she) trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
  for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.
Isaiah 26:3-4

It’s no secret that Irene’s name means “peace”.  And that she is.  The manifestation of peace in her heart is a clear indication that the Holy Spirit resides in her.  Who else could go through this type of journey and still be optimistic and expectant about the future?

Irene is purpose driven, trusting Jesus and truly looking to the future with confidence. Today she purchased her 2008 calendar and continues to re-organize around the house.  For years I have nicknamed her “MO” which is a silly acronym for “mission organization”, clearly referring to the television program that helps disastrous homes get their lives under control by showing people how to organize their space more efficiently.  Irene is so organized that she labels just about everything .... even my color coordinated socks carefully positioned in descending order of the dresser drawer!!  (There’s a reason that my life is so organized .... now you know why!!!)

Nausea withstanding, she’s had a satisfying day. 

Because Irene’s mind and heart is on the Lord and she trusts him so, He demonstrates his presence in her life with his “perfect peace”  .... and she was certainly named correctly at birth!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

GRIEF is defined in dictionary.com as: “keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross proposed these stages of grief:

• Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
• Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
• Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
• Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
• Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what is going to happen/has happened.”

Without question, we have experienced every stage of “grief” and the broad range of human emotion expressed within the context of IRENE’S Journey of FAITH.  Admitting less than that would simply be insincere.  Our experience is that the stages are not necessarily sequential, because one will tend to vacillate between them.  I do find the last stage of grief quite absorbing: ACCEPTANCE.  Acceptance of what, you ask?  For the sake of this discussion I will identify three specifics:

Acceptance of:

• Irene’s diagnosis and current medical condition
• The radical change of circumstances in our daily lives
• The loss of our previous active and physical lifestyle

Irene drove herself to dialysis treatment this morning and afterward went to breakfast with Sue Martinez at the Silver Spur.  She was lethargic and nauseated this cold and foggy afternoon.  She took a very long, two hour + nap!!

We deeply appreciate the following poem addressing “acceptance” which was recently sent to us by our friend, AC Musgrave, who resides in Dallas, Texas, with his bride, Mary.

He said “I will forget the dying faces, the empty places,
They shall be filled again
Oh voices moaning deep within me cease,
But vain the word, vain, vain
For not in forgetting lieth peace”

He said “I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction will stir me and sustain
Oh tears that drown the fires of manhood cease
But vain the word, vain, vain
For not in endeavor lieth peace”

He said “I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life’s riot
Shut be my door to pain
Desire thou dost befool me, thou shall cease
But vain the word, vain, vain
For not in aloofness lieth peace.”

He said “I will submit, I am defeated
Life hath depleted me of it’s rich gain
Oh futile murmurings why will you not cease?
But vain the word, vain, vain.
For not in submission lieth peace.”

He said “I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow will to His son explain
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease
But not vain the word, not vain, vain
For in acceptance lieth peace.”

-Amy Carmichael

And we are not without HOPE that Irene will be restored ....

“.... we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”
2 Corinthians 4:7-10

Irene is the absolute expression of that verse.

As we vacillate between the various stages of grief, we are grateful to know and serve the God of all comforts, whose compassions fail not. Great is His Faithfulness.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Greetings!!

We have just posted four unedited inspirational messages on the topic of SUFFERING. You can listen to them from the sidebar of the website. These relevant messages were delivered at Mount Hermon last weekend by our good friend, Reed Jolley, of Santa Barbara Community Church.

Irene’s energy was much better today and she was able to run several errands in town. She had dinner with Jack and Phyllis Cauwels at Carpo's Restaurant while I was in Southern California on business today.

We hope you enjoy listening to the unedited and yet, very applicable messages!!

Caminando con Fé

Dave

There’s a treacherous stretch of Highway 99 just south of Fresno, CA, where, a few days ago, there was a significant pile up and series of multiple traffic accidents involving over 100 vehicles where two people were killed.  The culprit was a suspected drunk driver operating in very foggy conditions. 

But even without the impairment of alcohol, I occasionally find that I am operating “in very foggy conditions” that are life itself.  We’re inundated with activity and data points and are forever trying to interpret their meaning.  Daily we attempt to sort out the circumstances that unfold in front of us, and, either correctly or incorrectly, navigate through the maze.  As we muddle through the “chaos” of it all, we better know our sources of information….and our Source for direction. 

As it is true with the JOURNEY OF FAITH that Irene is traversing, we try to bring order out of the confusion and related questions surrounding our transitional and perplexing circumstances. 

Irene drove herself to an early morning dialysis treatment and returned home contending with a massive headache which she carried with her most of the day.  She is surmising that it may be caused from dehydration from the dialysis treatment because they removed such a large amount of fluid.  Nausea also accompanied her day.  Irene napped and rested most of this dreary and foggy day.

As we sort through the illusory “fog of life”, we know that God’s Word is abundantly clear:

• He gives us LIFE:  “He gives all men (and women) life and breath and everything else….” Acts 17:25b
• He directs our STEPS:  “....the Lord determines His (or her) steps”  Proverbs 16:9b
• He LOVES us unconditionally: “....nothing will be able to separate us from the Love of Christ….” Romans 8:37b
• He will never FORGET or forsake us:  “....never will I forsake you”  Hebrews 13:5

And finally, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:29-31

As we try to untangle the sometimes confusing days related to the journey we’re on, foggy circumstances or not, we lean upon the Word and acknowledge that He loves us so much that he numbers the hairs on our head.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

According to Wikipedia:

Suffering, or pain in this sense, is a basic affective experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm in an individual.

• Suffering may be called physical or mental, depending on whether it is linked primarily to a body process or a mind process. Examples of physical suffering are pain (as a sensation), nausea, breathlessness, and itching.  Examples of mental suffering are anxiety, grief, hatred, and boredom.
• The intensity of suffering comes in all degrees, from the triflingly mild to the unspeakably insufferable. Factors of duration and frequency of occurrence are often considered along with that of intensity.
• People’s attitudes toward a suffering may vary hugely according to how much they deem it as light or severe, avoidable or unavoidable, useful or useless, of little or of great consequence, deserved or undeserved, chosen or unwanted, acceptable or unacceptable.
• The words pain and suffering can be confusing and may require careful handling. (1) Sometimes they are synonyms and interchangeable. (2) Sometimes they are used in contradistinction to one another: e.g. “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”, or “pain is physical, suffering is mental”. (3) Sometimes one word refers to a variety of that to which the other refers: e.g. “pain is physical suffering”, or “suffering is severe physical or mental pain”. (4) Sometimes yet, people use them in another fashion.

All sentient beings suffer during their lives, in diverse manners, and often dramatically. No field of human activity deals with the whole subject of suffering, but many are concerned with its nature and processes, its origin and causes, its meaning and significance, its related personal, social, and cultural behaviors, its remedies, management, and uses.

Snubbing the nausea, Irene and her sisters Carmen and Jane were out early and met with Jocelyn, seizing the morning for a shopping spree until mid afternoon!!  The cool fog rolled in this afternoon but it didn’t thwart the enthusiasm and energy accompanying the time that Irene experienced with Jocelyn and her sisters.

Shirley Churchill spent 2 hours with Irene working on physiology issues related to the hope of waking the kidneys up!  I was able to spend quality time with Shirley’s husband, Ken, at Starbucks down the hill from our home.

We remain hopeful that Irene’s kidney function will return and are very grateful for the Churchill’s investment in our lives.  It is humbling to see the Body of Christ manifesting His Presence through so many around us.

Reed Jolley also came by the house and visited before returning to Santa Barbara.  Reed spent the entire weekend at Mount Hermon speaking on the momentous and relevant issue of “suffering”.  It’s a difficult topic that most of us want to avoid.  I hope to obtain the deeply meaningful and multiple messages in a digital format and host them on Irene’s website.

Irene is “suffering” in “real time”, although she’s determined to overcome the challenge and experience the fullness of God’s Presence in the midst of her JOURNEY OF FAITH.  She’s experiencing somewhat of a reprieve from the recent intense season and to that we’re grateful .... hopefully she will never again return to those daring days. 

Caminando con Fé
Dave

You can’t keep a good woman down!!

At least that’s what happened this morning when Irene woke up confronted with the routinely defying nausea.  However, she would not be denied .... by “playing” in the yard and completing several important tasks around the house throughout a beautiful day on the bay. 

Irene’s sisters Carmen and Jane kayaked in Moss Landing before staying overnight at the house.  I was able to get in a long mountain bike ride and it felt pretty “normal” around here today.  For that we rejoice.

I also spoke publicly about Irene’s illness at Mount Hermon this evening, partnering with Reed Jolley from Santa Barbara, addressing a young singles group of about 100 at Mount Hermon.  They were very inspired by Irene’s journey of faith.

It will be wonderful to routinely report that Irene’s activities and health are returning to where she was pre-illness.  I asked her at dinner if she felt that her strength was returning and improving daily.  She was quick to respond with a “YES!”  To that end we pray.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

It’s been a good day for Irene.  She was up early and drove herself to and from dialysis treatment.  She’s maintaining her weight in the 109 -111 pound range.  The nausea remained at a low rumble and she was able to “play” in the wisteria garden this afternoon.  It’s refreshing to have a reprieve!!

Irene made an amazing dinner which we relished on the front deck, watching the sunset.  Dinner was followed with the most delicious homemade peach crisp that I’ve “devoured” in my entire life!  After dinner we drove to Home Depot and wandered the store…what an exciting evening…!!

We’re grateful for a wonderful day.  Today is one that reminds us that people like you are praying…and the intercession is deeply appreciated. 

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Have you ever been a waiter or waitress at a restaurant?  I haven’t but it looks like it could be a challenging “order”! 

I’ve found myself once again musing on Isaiah 40:30-32….

....but those who hope (wait) on the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Is 40:30-32

Permit me to examine the verse through a different filter….using the perspective as one “waiting” on someone else….

Dictionary.com defines “to wait” this way:

“to perform the duties of an attendant or servant for”

Now, think about the context of that word application to the verse: “they that wait upon the Lord….”  So instead of “waiting for someone”, the interpretation is “waiting on someone”.

Would I be interpreting this correctly by rightly assuming the following….?

They that WAIT UPON the Lord will….

• renew their strength….
• soar on wings like eagles….
• run and not grow weary….
• walk and not faint….

LETHARGY was the defining word today.  Irene’s energy was diminished but her attitude continues to be positive!!!  I did notice, however, that Irene was energized as she prepared our dinner and was able to accomplish some objectives of the day. 

One might think that “waiting” or “serving” would drain energy but scripture instructs us otherwise.  I also personally observed the contrary experience.  Before Irene was ill she was ENERGIZED either practicing hospitality or in an environment where she was serving God and/or others. That’s the Irene we all know and love and when her energy does return, get out of the way!!!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I wait and hope that in my lifetime we’ll see cars flying nearly the way they do on “The Jetson’s” cartoon television program!!

In yesterday’s update I purposely omitted an additional benefit of “waiting” on the Lord.  It’s probably because I’m not sure what “soaring on wings like eagles” specifically denotes in Isaiah 40, but I do embrace the imagery.

You’ll notice that the verse doesn’t say that we will fly .... but it does say that when we wait on the Lord we will SOAR on WINGS like EAGLES. 

SOARING on wings like eagles ....  Just imagine the exhilaration and freedom that one would feel soaring on wings like eagles .... I also wonder if the experience would be similar to the “self actualization” Maslow proposes in his hierarchy of needs ....

Irene had an early morning dialysis treatment and enjoyed lunch with Sue Martinez who also brought her home.  Irene and I later had a very relaxing and inspiring dinner at Mama Mia’s with Reed Jolley, our pastor friend from Santa Barbara. 

What’s the prerequisite to SOARING on wings like eagles?  Simply, to “wait” .... and there is never disappointment when we “wait” according to God’s economy because ....

His way is perfect. 
Psalm 18:30

As we wait for Irene’s body to heal, I’m not sure if we’ll see flying cars in our lifetime but this I do know .... that if we wait on the Lord he promises that we’ll soar on wings like eagles, and that sounds like a very invigorating ride!

Caminando con Fé
Dave

It’s not really in my natural DNA to “wait”. 

I’ve been labeled impatient and I’m sure it’s a well deserved observation!!!  But it’s just so .... inefficient, isn’t it? 

According to dictionary.com, “wait” is defined as “to remain or rest in expectation.” 

Can there be benefits of waiting? 

Apparently, there are:

.... but those who hope (wait) in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Is 40:30-32

I observe at least three obvious benefits:

• renewed strength
• to run and not grow weary
• to walk and not be faint

Irene had a refreshing day.  For most of the day she was by herself and got a number of things done around the house and even accomplished several errands.  Yes, driving too!!  She had several meaningful phone calls and an encouraging personal visit from Marilyn Miller.

Actually, I’m beginning to learn and apply the benefits of waiting .... not that I don’t have lots of room to “grow” in this area!!!  Living with Irene as the consummate example of patience has been a challenge for almost 28 years!!  However, as we see her daily persevering in the recovery period her strength is slowly but surely returning.  And for that we rejoice!

Candidly, waiting has never been tougher .... at least for me, but the benefits far outweigh the burden .... and what choice is there, anyway?  We either embrace the circumstances or resist them and take God at his Word or we don’t.  We see that He has spoken truth again .... because we see it firsthand in Irene.

“.... they that wait on the Lord will renew their strength”.

And to that end we pray.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I have been a Tony Snow fan for years.  The commentator and broadcaster ultimately held the position of Press Secretary for President George W. Bush.  In 2005 he announced that he had colon cancer and later had surgery and chemo-therapy.  He’s been an amazing, consistent personality with perceptive insights and has always lived by timeless, value driven principles.

He wrote an outstanding article which is moving and stirring related to his journey.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do .... it’s powerful and compelling!! Click here to read his article.

Primary Amyloidosis is a very rare and terminal disease with a great deal of profound mystery surrounding it.  Much is understood about the disease itself but there is even more that is unknown .... such as this .... no one can explain when or why it strikes certain people.  It assails without discrimination. 

Even though only a small number of people contract the disease annually (about 30 reported cases last year compared to 700,000 reported cases of cancer .... in a total U.S. population of 300,000,000 .... do the math on that diminutive percentage!!), it can overcome anyone at anytime.  That can be a very disconcerting thought, especially because we live in a time when health/wellness and physical fitness are promoted as a means of living a long and fulfilling life.  And most of us would agree with that very sound worldview!

There is also much mystery surrounding “wind” and with those “born of the Spirit .... “

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.
John 3:8

Irene and her sisters Carmen and Jane were out of the house early this morning headed to the street fair ....

Shirley Churchill again gave of herself and precious time, working with Irene on the physiological issues related to waking the kidneys up!

We’re grateful that God’s Spirit has revealed Himself to us in the form of faith in Jesus Christ.  This, too, is a profound mystery because ....

A man (or woman) can receive nothing except it be given from Heaven.
John 3:27

Life is truly a gift; we steward the brief time on this earth according to our measure of faith.  We don’t understand many of the mysteries surrounding Primary Amyloidosis or the unsearchable and infinite attributes of God, but we will do this .... we will put our confidence and trust in Him who gives us life.  We encourage you to do the same.

Thanks for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

Irene is thoroughly enjoying her sisters, Carmen and Jane.  They arrived before noon and will be at our house until late tomorrow afternoon.  The three of them ate lunch at Carpo’s and shopped most of the afternoon.  It’s been a pleasant day for Irene…she’s been able to navigate through it with minimal nausea disruption.  Carmen and Jane really breathe life into her with lots of fun and laughter!

I took advantage of the opportunity and went for a very long mountain bike ride and detoured through one of our former neighborhoods in Soquel where some of the most wonderful people we’ve ever known still live.  Irene and I have some great memories living there…it was a fond and reminiscing moment. 

Thanks for checking in…and most of all, for caring.

Caminando con Fé
Dave

I love many of the old Puritan Prayers and Devotions…they are always anonymous and heartfelt…

  The Valley of Vision

  Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

  Let me learn by paradox
  that the way down is the way up,
  that to be low is to be high,
  that the broken heart is the healed heart,
  that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
  that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
  that to have nothing is to possess all,
  that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
  that to give is to receive,
  that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
And the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
  Let me find thy light in my darkness,
  thy life in my death,
  thy joy in my sorrow,
  thy grace in my sin,
  thy riches in my poverty
  thy glory in my valley.

We hope that the new nausea medication will give some relief to Irene’s constant distress.  After an early morning dialysis treatment she persevered through an uncomfortable day.  She has such an amazing attitude and yesterday received another gracious comment at the doctor’s office regarding her “signature” smile.  I told her this morning that I think she sleeps with a smile on her face!!!

Irene is also looking forward to having her sisters Carmen and Jane visit over the weekend.

Our prayer is for vision of a tomorrow without the discomfort of today…that His Glory will manifest itself while Irene is still in the “nausea” valley.

Caminando con Fé
Dave