This devotional thought is provided by the late Oswald Chambers:

“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” — Acts 26:14

Are you determined to have your own way in living for God? We will never be free from this trap until we are brought into the experience of the baptism of “the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matthew 3:11). Stubbornness and self-will will always stab Jesus Christ. It may hurt no one else, but it wounds His Spirit. Whenever we are obstinate and self-willed and set on our own ambitions, we are hurting Jesus. Every time we stand on our own rights and insist that this is what we intend to do, we are persecuting Him. Whenever we rely on self-respect, we systematically disturb and grieve His Spirit. And when we finally understand that it is Jesus we have been persecuting all this time, it is the most crushing revelation ever.

Is the Word of God tremendously penetrating and sharp in me as I hand it on to you, or does my life betray the things I profess to teach? I may teach sanctification and yet exhibit the spirit of Satan, the very spirit that persecutes Jesus Christ. The Spirit of Jesus is conscious of only one thing— a perfect oneness with the Father. And He tells us, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

All I do should be based on a perfect oneness with Him, not on a self-willed determination to be godly. This will mean that others may use me, go around me, or completely ignore me, but if I will submit to it for His sake, I will prevent Jesus Christ from being persecuted.

7.30 p.m.

Thanks for checking in.

Irene’s appointment was very productive today…our friend and UCSF technician, Scott Bush, performed the ultra sound, and she had a good office visit with Dr. Eichler.  They are recommending a mitigation strategy at the dialysis center which hopefully addresses the challenges that Irene’s been facing.

Thanks for caring…!!!
Dave

8.30 p.m.

Thanks for checking in.

Irene’s really tustling through this evening after an extended dialysis treatment today which lasted 3.5 hours on the machine.  The nausea is raging, she’s fatigued and can’t find that comfortable position.

We’ll be up and out of the house by 6 am tomorrow for an 8 am appointment @ UCSF with Dr. Charles Eichler. She’s hoping to learn more about why she’s beginning to once again experience pain in the fistula region which is now enlarged and has taken on a different shape than the surgery was first realized.

On Friday, Irene will again endure 3.5 hours of dialysis treatment (30 minutes beyond the norm) in order to make up for the early withdrawel from treatment yesterday. 

Her comment this evening…“I can’t believe it’s been almost 5 years…”  The first hint of trouble was in February, 2007.  This surreal journey gives new definition to the word marathon.

Thanks for caring,
Dave

5 p.m.

Thanks for checking in.  Irene was relieved early from her dialysis treatment today when the pain in her arm became unbearable.  She’ll have to make up the time on Wednesday.  We have an appointment @ UCSF on Thursday with Dr. Eichler who performed the FISTULA surgery.  The timing is good since that ‘s where Irene is experiencing the challenge today.

She’s resting, recovering, nauseated and fatigued.

Thanks for caring,
Dave

Philip Yancey has observed, “Jesus did not come into the world to explain suffering—or to take it away—but to fill it with His presence in His time” (1984)

This post is by Frank Johnson — the guy who helps Dave with IreneDias.com. Here’s a video in which Dave is presented with the 2011 Caregiver Award by the Invisible Disabilities Association. I know that all of us will agree that the award is well-deserved!

“When He was alone . . . the twelve asked Him about the parable” —Mark 4:10

...from Oswald Chambers:

His Solitude with Us. When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new friendship— when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us. Notice Jesus Christ’s training of the Twelve. It was the disciples, not the crowd outside, who were confused. His disciples constantly asked Him questions, and He constantly explained things to them, but they didn’t understand until after they received the Holy Spirit (see John 14:26).
As you journey with God, the only thing He intends to be clear is the way He deals with your soul. The sorrows and difficulties in the lives of others will be absolutely confusing to you. We think we understand another person’s struggle until God reveals the same shortcomings in our lives. There are vast areas of stubbornness and ignorance the Holy Spirit has to reveal in each of us, but it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone. Are we alone with Him now? Or are we more concerned with our own ideas, friendships, and cares for our bodies? Jesus cannot teach us anything until we quiet all our intellectual questions and get alone with Him.